Participating in alumni events often comes with a mixed bag of emotions. On one hand, there’s the joy of reconnecting with old friends and mentors. On the other, there’s the sometimes overwhelming pressure to measure up to the expectations of former classmates, professors, and even yourself. As someone who’s been both inspired and weighed down by these expectations, I want to share my perspective—and a few stories of those who’ve navigated these waters before me.
The Stars Who Shined Brighter Than Expected
At my first alumni networking event, I met Chidi, a quiet, unassuming guy from my graduating class. Back in school, he was known for being good at his work but not someone who stood out. Fast forward a decade, and Chidi has become a celebrated entrepreneur. His startup in renewable energy has not only turned a profit but also provided sustainable solutions in rural areas across Africa. During his keynote speech, he talked about battling self-doubt and persevering through early failures. Listening to him, I couldn’t help but feel both proud and intimidated.
Then there’s Amaka, who’d always been at the top of our class. True to form, she’s now a leading voice in tech innovation. At the event, she casually mentioned her upcoming TED Talk and recent feature in a Forbes article. Amaka’s success wasn’t surprising, but it was a reminder of the high bar set by some of our peers.
The Ones Who Struggled to Meet Expectations
Of course, not all stories are about meteoric rises. My friend Tunde’s experience serves as a stark contrast. Tunde was the life of the party back in school, always brimming with ideas and confidence. But as the years passed, he struggled to find his footing in the corporate world. At the reunion, he shared openly about his battles with job loss and self-esteem. “Sometimes,” he said, “you’re not where you thought you’d be, and that’s okay.” His honesty was a sobering reminder that life’s journey doesn’t always follow a straight path.
Similarly, I recall Aisha, who’d been voted most likely to succeed in our yearbook. She’d started a promising career in finance but later left the industry due to burnout. At the event, she spoke about finding peace in a simpler life, working as a freelance writer and spending more time with family. While her path was unconventional, her contentment was evident—a lesson in redefining success.
Balancing Expectations and Reality
The pressure to measure up can be overwhelming. You might find yourself comparing your LinkedIn profile to others or feeling inadequate during small talk. But if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that expectations—both from others and yourself—are not set in stone.
Here are a few takeaways from my experience:
- Define Success for Yourself: Chidi’s story reminded me that success doesn’t have to look the same for everyone. Whether you’re running a multimillion-dollar business or simply finding joy in your day-to-day, your definition of success matters most.
- Be Honest About Challenges: Tunde’s openness was a powerful moment at the event. It showed that admitting struggles is not a sign of failure but of courage.
- Celebrate Small Wins: Not everyone will have Amaka’s accolades, and that’s okay. Every step forward, no matter how small, is worth celebrating.
- Don’t Let the Past Define You: Aisha’s journey showed that it’s never too late to pivot and pursue what truly matters to you.
Moving Forward
Alumni events will always come with a mix of inspiration and introspection. They’re a chance to celebrate achievements, share struggles, and connect with people who’ve walked similar paths. If you’ve ever felt the weight of expectations, remember this: You are more than your resume, your job title, or your achievements. Your journey is uniquely yours, and that’s something no expectation can ever take away.
